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Writer's pictureKate Ferrill

Five ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Updated: May 10, 2020

Loving others is a bit simpler than loving ourselves. At least, that's always been true for me. The voices and demands of those I love are so much louder than the gentle whisper of my spirit. But I've learned over time that if I ignore those whispers, my body has a way of getting louder. Stomach aches, headaches, tight muscles and short tempers to name a few. Let's not wait until our bodies are crying out for help. Here are a few self care tips that honor the needs of your body and spirit.


1. Remember God's promises to you.

When life seems to be going against you, it can be tempting to fall into a victim mentality. "Why me" is a phrase that can run us around in circles! When I get caught in this trap, I immediately turn to the Bible and reread promises like, "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12-13). Knowing He's listening can help you be vulnerable enough to cry out to Him. He's there, friend. Holding you. You will find Him when you seek Him.


2. Spend at least 20 minutes outside.

Being in nature allows your body to slow to a more natural rhythm. Stop and check in with all five senses. What are you seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling? Name it and become more mindful of the present moment. Praise God for his amazing creation and know that you were created by the same loving father.

3. Talk to yourself.

Before you think I'm crazy, recognize that you already do quite a bit of talking to yourself. Often those voices are not compassionate or kind. They are filled with self condemnation rather than self love. Each day, take a moment to speak with loving care to yourself. You may say things like, "Of course you are overwhelmed. There's so much going on right now. What would help you in this moment?" or "Anyone would be worn out after a 60 hour work week. What would help you to rest and reset?" These small statements will help you to acknowledge and respond to your needs.


4. Keep a stash of self care items.

I have a drawer in my bathroom with face masks, chocolate, a candle and books that have inspirational quotes in them. When I need a spa visit but can only spare 10 minutes, these are a lifesaver. Take some time to gather up those free samples that have been gathering dust and make yourself a little self care box. Curate it with care as if you are giving a gift to someone very special, because you deserve it.


5. Listen to Music

A playlist can change the entire trajectory of your day. Make a playlist with the same gusto you used to use making a mixed tape. (Or am I aging myself with that statement?) Play it when you need a pick me up, encouragement or just some affirming words. I created an iTunes playlist during my divorce that could speak and pray the words I couldn't and lift me up with the first few notes. In case you need a headstart, you are free to copy mine.


You are worth loving. You are worth caring for. You are truly God's masterpiece and you honor him each time you practice self care. I chose the word practice intentionally because it takes repetition and intention. Your body and soul both know exactly what they need and I pray that this gives you some ways to honor it.

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