Most of us can think of a time that we were afraid, and the fear felt overwhelming. I have experienced this with my health, my kids, and in my marriage. The women Kate and I work with at Known and Loved feel it in their relationships. Sometimes daily.
I want to share a few strategies with you that can be helpful for dealing with fear in the moment and others that are going to have a long-term impact.
Grounding. There are different ways to do this, but the one I like is grounding through your senses. Grounding is a technique that helps us to feel calmer when we’re overloaded with emotion. It looks like noticing what you can feel with your hands or feeling your body in your chair and feet on the floor. It can be through finding all of the blue things you can see in your space. Anything that engages your senses and gives you something tangible to focus on.
Safety statements. Sometimes we’re triggered by something and need a reminder that it won’t hurt us. Or we have a big feeling and need a reminder that it will pass. A safety statement can be any short phrase that brings truth to mind in that moment. “This feeling will pass.” “A feeling can’t harm me.” "It’s a trigger, not a real threat.” Something short and simple that reminds you the fear will pass.
Give yourself space. In the midst of conflict or a triggering situation, just getting out of the place you’re in and moving to another location will give your body time to calm down.
Deep breathing. Physiologically, if we are afraid our sympathetic nervous system is engaged and tells us to be on high alert. It gets our heart rate going and we take short, fast breaths. When we take slow deep breaths, especially as we breathe out, we engage our parasympathetic nervous system that tells our body to rest. Practicing deep breathing is a great, practical way to help calm our bodies.
Speak truth. We can be overwhelmed with fearful thoughts and speaking truth to ourselves can help quiet those scary thoughts. What are you able to do? What is really true about who you are? What is true about the people in your world? What are the promises in scripture?
Set boundaries. This comes with practice and helps protect us physically and emotionally for the short and long-term, depending on our circumstances. Say no to the things that cause harm and fear and yes to the things that bring joy and safety.
Get to a safe place. There may be no way to have relief from chronic fear without getting out of your current circumstance. Our website has a resource page with possible shelters if you don’t have options due to limited income or limited support in this area.
A regular mindfulness practice. We each have what’s called a window of tolerance. If our level of fear or stress is always hanging around at an 8 or 9, then we have very little room for unexpected problems that arise and a small window of tolerance. If we maintain a regular calming practice, it helps keep our numbers lower and gives us a bigger window of tolerance to be able to manage new things that show up in our world. Yoga or using a mindfulness app are great options to try.
Pick one or two of these to try and see if you notice some of the fear begin to alleviate. You've got this!
Comentarios