In our quest to protect ourselves, we often fall into the trap of trying to change others. The Bible shows us that God gives us a spirit of self-control, but He never asks us to take responsibility for other people's choices. Trying to control their behavior and choices only leads to frustration and also diminishes our own power and control, leaving us dependent on circumstances beyond our influence. It's easy to overlook the things we do have control over and the areas where we hold influence. By recognizing and focusing on what we can control, we can become more empowered to create positive change in our own lives.
1️⃣ Direct Your OWN Focus
Focusing on things outside of our control is a recipe for frustration and disappointment. Instead, direct your focus towards what you can control and influence in your life. This shift in perspective will give you a greater sense of agency and personal power. For example, you can't control how others behave, but you can control how you respond to their behavior. Concentrating on your own actions and decisions will lead to more satisfying outcomes and a stronger sense of accomplishment.
2️⃣ Set Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an important act of self-care. It means knowing your limits and communicating them to others. Clear boundaries help create healthier relationships and prevent others from taking advantage of you. By defining what is acceptable and what isn’t, you protect your well-being and ensure your interactions with others are respectful and balanced. Boundaries can include anything from deciding how much time you spend with certain people to what kind of behavior you will tolerate.
3️⃣ Control Your Actions & Responses
While you can't control others, you can control how you act and react. Take ownership of your actions and responses, and make choices that align with your values and goals. This empowers you to stay true to yourself and maintain your integrity, regardless of external pressures. Whether it's managing your emotions during a stressful situation or choosing to walk away from a toxic interaction, your responses are within your power.
4️⃣ Express Your Needs & Thoughts
Be open and honest about your needs and thoughts to the safe people in your life, and don't be afraid to ask for what you want. While this is the opposite of what we are taught in destructive relationships, it takes practice and repetition to trust that others will listen and respond kindly to our needs. Safe people will understand you better and your vulnerability will foster a more meaningful connection.
Focusing on what you can control isn't just about maintaining a sense of order—it's about empowering yourself to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. By directing your focus, setting clear boundaries, controlling your actions and responses, and expressing your needs, you can navigate your life with greater confidence and positivity.
What do you think? How do you manage to stay focused on what you can control? Share your experiences and insights in the comments below!