Grief is not limited to death. We can grieve with any loss. Loss of a job, a friend moves, when children change schools. Women experiencing betrayal or harm in their intimate relationships feel a number of losses. The loss of support from my church was not one I expected and it was painful. Many women lose support from their churches. They also lose support from friends and family members. There is a loss of financial stability, flexibility in your schedule if you’re now having to work and be a single parent. The list goes on.
Sometimes we're dealing with so much in this battle, that we don't stop to acknowledge or give time to our feelings. We may have ignored our feelings for so long that we don't understand what we're feeling or why we're feeling it. But doing this work will help to bring us to a better, more whole place.
So how do you know you’re grieving?
Shock. You feel taken by surprise. It’s hard to believe this is happening. You have those moments of waking up in the morning and feeling fine before the reality sets in.
Confusion. It’s hard to make sense of what’s happening. You keep playing things over in your mind but it still doesn’t make sense. You question your choices and if you’re taking the right steps as you move forward.
Anger. Anger with him, anger with your friends or church that let you down, mad at the world. How could this be happening? Some women feel a sense of rage they have never felt before.
Feeling Down. Most days you feel sad. Things in your world will make you cry unexpectedly. You can’t open the jar or the dryer turned off in the middle of the cycle and no one has clean clothes for school the next day and you just break down.
This is a hard road. All of these things will feel big and heavy. So it’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to cry and yell. This journey isn’t a straight line so there will be times you will start to feel good again and find yourself crying later the same day. Don’t worry! You haven’t done anything wrong. This is how grief works. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can do this and there is still hope and joy ahead.
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