As we share this month about things that can cause us to feel overwhelmed, one that’s at the top of the list for many women is coming to the realization that their partner is abusive. Making the transition from “he just has sin,” or “our marriage has problems like most marriages” to “he is abusing me” is a big one. I sit with many women when they have that moment and it’s often accompanied by pain, confusion, wanting to stay in denial or rage.
If you’ve ever wondered if your partner crosses the line from typical marriage problems or sin to abuse, here is a list of questions you can ask yourself about your partner to get a better idea.
Are you regularly dismissed and disrespected?
Does he criticize or humiliate you in front of others?
Is there a lack of effort on his part at maintaining and repairing the relationship?
Does one person have power over the other either physically, emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, or all of the above?
Is there a lack of accountability for harm caused in the relationship?
Does he lie to you regularly?
Act very jealous?
Try to isolate you by controlling who you see?
Pressure you for sex?
Destroy your property or documents?
Give you the silent treatment?
Make threats?
Blame you for how he treats you or anything bad that happens?
Push, grab or shove you?
Make you feel crazy?
If you’ve answered even a few of these with a “yes” you may be in an abusive relationship. And you could be at risk for further harm if you stay in the relationship. Please reach out for help. You can find resources for support from domestic violence on our website here. You can also check out more resources that outline abusive behavior here, here and here. And of course, you can reach out to us to schedule a coaching or counseling appointment to begin your recovery process. We’re here for you!
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