If there’s something I could encourage you to do daily, to spark real, meaningful change for yourself (and even people in your world), it’s to speak truth to yourself every day.
Because we are people and we live in a world with other people, we will get hurt. We’ll experience betrayal, misunderstandings, grieve losses, and struggle. Something that almost always comes out of our pain is a message. The message often sounds like I’m bad, I’m wrong, I’m not enough, I’ll never be enough, I’m not lovable, my body is bad, other people will hurt me, etc. You can probably think of the messages you’ve believed about yourself. Those are overwhelmingly messages of shame. Shame says there is something wrong with me. And often, we don’t even realize we’ve picked up these messages because we begin to believe them when we’re young. so they feel really knit into us. A parent left = I’m not enough. Someone told us over and over that everything we did was wrong or bad = I’m bad.
Now, as an adult, a favorite cousin moves to another state and that same sting of abandonment returns, the message also returns, “not enough.” A boss gives constructive feedback and the message of wrong and bad returns. You get the idea. These messages stay with us and become a filter for how we experience relationships and cause us to please others, pull away from others, and wrestle with trust.
But here is truth. Things that were done to you, events in your life or in proximity to your life are NOT who you are. Hear that again, they are not who you are.
Reframing
So let’s use a tool in therapy called re-framing, to start to shift those lies to truths. Read these out loud to yourself. Notice how you feel. Is it easy or hard to believe or even say these words?
I am good. To the core of who I am, made in the image of God. I am good.
I may not always be right and that’s ok. No one can be perfect or right all of the time.
My body is good. She tells me when I feel emotional pain or physical pain and that helps me to take better care of her.
I am worthy. I am loved and known by a God who sees me, every part of me and calls me worthy.
How was it? Is it still hard to believe? That’s ok. These likely are messages you’ve believed about yourself for some time and likewise it will take some time to unlearn them. Speak these truths and any other truths you’ve identified daily and reclaim the truth of who you are. The one created in the image of God, who is good, and was made for good things.
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